In a Planner World

I've taken my first steps into a bigger world. I'm now part of a planner group on Facebook. I joined the Llamas Love Lettering Group, which is a group that focuses on planner stuff and lettering all encouraged by Cindy Guentert-Baldo.

I've been watching her on Youtube a lot and she's one of my favorite planner people to watch as she's funny and more importantly, her brain seems to work in a similar way as mine when it comes to planning and such. She also does a lot of creative projects that I can get into myself along with art supply reviews. I'm not sure how much I'll be joining along with comments and such but I've started and we'll see how far I go into the planner rabbit hole.

This is late but I'm posting this on time so I'm getting better with keeping up again! Go me!

Challenging more

I was doing so well for a long while with posting regularly and on time but then I just fell off the bandwagon. This posting has been a good indicator of how far along or how far behind I feel with my general goals. If things are on time, I'm right on schedule with this little blog of mine but if I feel like I'm falling behind, the timing gets all screwy. Obviously, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything that's been happening.

For the past several weeks, I've been on overdrive with trying to get everything done. My daughter finished school last month and now we're just waiting to get information about her new school since we decided to switch her out of public school and into a charter school. It's been interesting trying to parent a preteen with the trappings of modern life. My house is a mess and I'm still dealing with insurance trying to get everything ready so that things might finally progress along. The weather has been up and down with thunderstorms every 4 days and just recently there was a heat wave, which made working in a warehouse so much fun. At this point, I don't think I know any other speed besides ludicrous speed. I honestly can't believe that it's already July. The year is halfway through and I feel like I've barely got anything done.

Of course, it's not enough and I have to add another thing to my to do list. I've been learning lettering and focusing on brush lettering and calligraphy. Luckily, that was indeed one of my things to learn this year so I'm ahead on that, slightly. To keep practicing, I decided to start up a challenge for the month of July. It's a lettering/journaling/doodling challenge on the topic of Harry Potter. Of course, I'm focusing on lettering this challenge. It's been fun so far. I'm hoping it'll be another thing that I can say that I completed this year.

Shell Shy

It's difficult being a person. I find myself to be more cat than a human at times. Once I like you, I claim you and I want all your attention. If I haven't claimed you, I'll take you in whatever doses I choose and no more. I'm perfectly happy being a hermit and not making an effort to talk to people who I'm not forced to see everyday and even with those people, I'm fine with simply not saying anything. I suppose that's just being an introvert though.

When things are difficult around me, I have a tendency to turtle myself in. When my emotions are chaotic and barely under my control I find it worse to be around people as their emotions tend to throw my own emotions off even more. This year has been very trying for me and my family so far so I've barely held onto my sense of self and have avoided people to not add to the drama that's already happening. The year is halfway through and I can't keep avoiding people, as much as I'd like to. I'm making steps to reach out to people again. 

Writing letters was the first step to getting used to the idea of starting conversation with people again. I started messaging people. I finally contacted someone to hang out, face to face. I'm getting there and hopefully it won't be long until I'm a person and not just a shell of a turtle. 

Summer's Almost Here!

I'm still here and still not sure what to do with this blog. I feel I should do something productive with it but I honestly have no idea as what that might be. I've continued journaling and that has helped with making sure my head doesn't feel too full with excess emotions. My planner continues to give me a great boost in productivity. I'm not sure what else I need after that.

I don't have much going on right now as I'm a bit busy dealing with life issues. I woke up a few days ago to a loud boom, in which a guy ran the stop light in front of my house, hit a van in the cross traffic which sent the van into my front door and the car into my car. I don't even have words on what a mess things have been and still are. The weather has just been crazy for the past several weeks with barely just a day or two of sunshine before rain and cloudiness settles in. I love the rain but I'm a bit sick of it at this point. I need some nice weather to stick around for a while.

It's the the last full week of May. Next week starts the month of June so before I even knew it, summer is just around the corner and I am so not ready. It seems the weather decided to just skip spring and go straight into the hot season. It's super hot or super rainy with not much else so far but hopefully we can sneak in a few nice days in between.

I'm going to make it my mission to enjoy this summer though. Spring was a wash in many ways but I'm determined to try my best to turn things around. We may not have major plans to go anywhere but we can still enjoy time together as a family and see friends again.

Is 2018 over yet?

I'm kind of hating on 2018. I've never come close to such a negative feeling toward a year but this has not been a good year so far. I honestly fear it might get worse and we are not even halfway through it yet.

I'm not going over the things that have already happened so far but to add to all of it, a dear friend of mine passed away just a few weeks ago. I hadn't talked to him face to face for years but he had been such a major part of my life in the past. I hate that he's gone. I can't imagine how his family is still dealing with everything.

I feel bogged down though I am trying to move forward with everything. I'm not sure what to do anymore for this year but I'm trying to find something to hold onto. I am sorry this post isn't all that interesting. I'm still contemplating pulling this down and maybe putting it up as something else entirely but I'm still not sure. My mind is just wandering into different ideas for now and it has yet to make a decision.

I hope your year is much better than mine.

Enduring Second Winter

February was InCoWriMo. The plan for March had been to get started on the yard but the weather was crazy with a nor'easter every week and that trend has continued into the current month of April. Actual spring weather has just started in the last week. Yard work has at least been started but I have no idea when it might continue and when it might finally get finished. I almost feel bad for my neighbors who have to see my eyesore of a flower bed because I know I'm not a fan of it.

In April we were supposed to start our outdoor survival courses. With the weather trapping us indoors and giving us a second winter, we were wanting to spend time outdoors with walk and hikes. While we would be out there, my husband wants to brush up on our survival skills with small lessons like pointing out plants that might be harmful to us and such. We're all actually looking forward to it. 

In the meantime, I've been working on my calligraphy. I've always been complimented on my handwriting and I actually do like my handwriting but I think it'd be fun to do different styles and I've always loved word art but I want to put up my own sayings with brush lettering. 

And now, I will leave you with a quote:

"Perseverance and strength of character will enable us to bear much worse tings." 

--Charles Dickens

2018 check, check, 1, 2, 3

I am still here. Of course, I'm a couple of days late but that is because on the day that I would have posted I did actually journal a bit. I'm not completely done with this blog yet though. Sooner or later, I may actually have to change this blog to something but I'm not sure to what yet. I still need time to think through this.

Time is not something that I have a lot of. It is already April and 2018 has been a mess of a year so far. My sink broke the other day and it cost me just an arm to have it fixed. It was worth the price to get my sink fixed so quickly as living without a kitchen sink is a really annoying thing since we have no dishwasher. My kid is getting braces this year but for the first stage, she is getting just a spacer. Just a few weeks ago, I had to get a tire replaced. What this all means is that I am in a decent amount of debt right now.

I'm doing good on some things and other things I feel as if I'm floundering. I'm doing well with my Flowbook challenge. I like the nice break it gives me to focus on something that is out of the ordinary to do. I actually went jogging the other day and I'm hoping to go jogging again if the weather would not flip out every other day. I've been reading books and played video games. I'm writing letters, which has been so much fun. I'm proud of myself on those ends. My planner system is doing a good job of keeping me organized and not feeling as if I'm constantly forgetting things. My health is a bit of a mix up. I'm more tired and though I try to get to bed on time, it doesn't work out as I'm trying to give myself extra time to work on things that I want to do. It also means that I'm taking more naps, which is a good thing as when I need the rest I'm trying to not resist so hard but it also means I'm not far off from wearing myself down again. I took a nap today, which was only supposed to last 30-45 mins but I didn't wake for 4 hrs. I've been trying to keep healthy but I keep craving sugary things and I'm starving when I get home from work most nights so I end up eating way more than I should for being so late in the evening. Worst of all, I feel a little down lately. I'm not sure if it's stress from everything or that I am legitimately feeling down because of my bipolar.

I'm going to keep going though. I don't have any other choice but to keep taking each step forward. I'll get there, wherever I am supposed to be though it may be a tough journey. Maybe I'm just walking up a very large hill.