A to Sh--school

It's just the beginning of August and so we begin the Back-to-School era and this year I get to experience it as a parent.  My daughter is heading to Kindergarten.  Not only do I have to the hunt for school supplies, I get to partake in the consumerism of school uniforms.  My head hurts.  That is all.



:(

From Eve to Steve?

I've touched on one "controversial" subject so I suppose it's time that I share my views on an a really controversial topic--gay marriage.

Homosexuality is the current hot discussion of this generation with too numerous side to name.  There are those who believe that it's completely wrong as it goes against the Bible, those who call themselves Christian but are gay and live the life, others who call themselves Christian and are gay but believe it's wrong and refuse to act on their desires and others who say live and let live.  I basically fall into the live and let live category for the most part, which is another way of saying I do indeed support any person's right to live the life they choose to live so long as it does not harm another person's life.

To be honest, I see only positive things in allowing gay marriage.  It's a boon to the economy.  They got money to spend, so let them spend money on weddings.  Yeah, that was the most superficial reason I could think of.  But seriously, you can't help who you fall in love with, it's been said to straight people so why the hell does it not apply to gay people?  It goes against the Bible, you say?  It also says no sex before marriage and that you should only wear one type of fabric, that it's perfectly acceptable to have slaves, women during menstruation are unclean and so on and so on and that's all from the same section that says to lay with another man is wrong.  If you're only picking parts to follow, that's called hypocrisy and thanks for playing our game cause you just lost any right to continue the argument.

The main reason why the US should allow gay marriage is the main reason why the US was created, which is freedom to choose to live life the way you want to, as long as it does not harm another person.  I have a whole mess of arguments that I can whip out to continue to drive my point across but really, I've said what needs to be said.

From Eve to Eve

It was bound to pop up sooner or later. . .I am one after all but I also fit into a couple of categories. I make it a personal goal of mine to break as many stereotypes as possible.  I'll focus on just one tic that always pops into politics--women's right.

You think after thousands of years on this planet, people would realize that people are people, that we have our strengths and we have our weaknesses.  Seriously, some of the things I have briefly glanced at that politicians have said about women and their rights are ludicrous.  I do say briefly glance because if I were to actually keep up with politics my blood pressure would be sky high and my faith in humamity utterly lost.  

In a lot of Asian cultures, males are more valuable than girls. In India, it's not uncommon when a women is pregnant for families try to find out the gender ASAP so that if it's a girl they try to force her to miscarriage whether she wants to or not.  That way of thinking is followed enough that there is a pretty large shortage of girls for each boy. I have heard it goes as high as 10 boys for each girl available but don't quote me on that as I have yet to check those numbers for fear of hearing it is true.  Of course, in the news there were those stories of young females being gang raped, which only reinforced my feelings of not wanting to know how bad it is in that country.  Please understand my desire to hide my head in the sand is not from not caring but from knowing that there is little I can do to change what has happened.  Continuing on with that vein, the gang rapes here in the United States of teenaged girls as they passed out drunk have headlines.  There are continued stories of sexual harrassment of women in the military.  Seriously, women are not the play things of men.  Women are not there for the taking, not to use for the sole pleasure of men.  Women are your sisters, your mothers, your daughters, your family members, whether yours or someone else's.  You wouldn't want another man to brutally violate your mother or your sister or your daughter.  You wouldn't want it to happen to you if you were the victim.  It doesn't matter if she's passed out drunk, or if she started out being ok with the situation. If she says no, it means no. If she can't say no, that is not permission.  

Women are thinking, feeling creatures, as people are.  We do not need to be put in binders.  We do not need to be told what to do.  We can make up our own minds, choose education, make decisions about our own bodies.  Rape is not a choice.  A woman does not choose to be raped like that.  Birth control is a choice.  She does not automatically become a second class citizen the moment she becomes pregnant, whether by choice or not.  I'm not saying that abortions should happen a dime a dozen but there are situations unique to each person and should be considered carefully.  A little bit of logic with a good bit of compromise goes a long way.  

I could go on and on but I've made my two major points and I hope it's been food for thoughts.

Learn Your History, Man . . .

Or you'll be doomed to repeat it!

The problem is what do you do when you can't learn your own history.  It's a situation that not many understand.  After all in this day and age, people are living longer and longer and in some cases having kids earlier and earlier so history is within easy access of simply calling up grandmother or in some cases great-grandmother.  Sometimes, a person doesn't have that though and there's no records of familial history.  The question stands how does one learn of their history if they know nothing of it.

Unfortunately, due to different circumstances, I'm one of those few.  I have never met my own grandparents.  I have uncles and aunts who I have no idea what their names are and likely more cousins than I might ever know what to do with but because of how secretive my parents are and thanks to a cultural barrier, I'll likely never meet them.  It's bothersome to enter a new doctor's office and have to fill out those patient history forms as it's just a reminder that I don't know any of that info.  At this point for all I know I could be susceptible to every disease imaginable and yet I'm forced to live in ignorance about it.  

I may never know my family history but my child doesn't have to remain that way for at least half of her family.  I'm in the process of researching family history.  www.ancestry.com

Curvy, stick . . .am I a road?

I wore a dress a few weeks ago. Yes, it was indeed a miracle of all miracles that I wore a dress but well, I got to shake things up every so often and not let people start thinking I'm all predictable.  Besides, it was my daughter's preschool graduation and my husband's birthday soon. Anyway, I was actually happy with my appearance. It was a nice color, covered everything while still showing that I am indeed a female. I even posted the pic on FB, sort of a proof that I can be a girly-girl just once every couple of years or so. I got a few compliments but honestly, I was posting more for the shock value. One of the comments was something along the lines of: "You go, girl and show off those curves!" I know she meant it as a compliment of being proud of my body but the statement made me really think about such things as body image and all that.

First off, to set the record clear, I'm fairly neutral about my self-image. I don't believe myself to be beautiful but I don't believe myself to be ugly either, but nor do I believe myself to be plain. I'm me and that's easy and more than enough for me.  There is no one else like me, looks or personality-wise and honestly, I take comfort in that. Anyway, the point is that I'm not fat but I'm no way near skinny. Weight-wise, I'm average with being able to wear Medium sizes for the most part. I used to have less weight on my frame but I had a kid and I would rather focus my time and energy on other things than worry about being a smaller size. What I'm saying is that I wouldn't say no to losing weight but it's just not a priority. 

The point of what I'm trying to say is that why is an average sized woman considered to have curves? Shouldn't an average sized woman be considered just simply looking good? When did being stick thin start being called not curvy? Why is being considered above average sized as curvy or big boned? They're overweight. The human body has a limit to what is considered healthy. I just find it completing that body image has no bearing on healthy. Perhaps I'm missing something on this topic?

frenemy, be gone!

Did you have that moment when you realize that this heavy weight on your chest, that you never knew just how much it weighed you down, is suddenly gone?  This weight happens to be the mass of a certain person that used to be in your life.  Yeah, it's like that, but I'm not actually going to talk about any one person or specific situation.  Contrary to popular opinion, I don't trash people behind their back so there won't be details or any even mentioning of things that have directly happened to me.  No matter how vain the other person may be, I'm stating outright that this isn't about them, but about me and this is my blog so I'm allowed to talk about myself.  If I have something to say to someone, I say it to the person.  I actually wish the person the best in their life, as long as this person's life doesn't impede on my own.  What I'm here to talk about now are my own personal feelings about toxic people in general.

To be honest, I'm surprised how much lighter I feel, like I've been released from this trap that I hadn't even known had latched onto me and was squeezing the life out of me.  I hadn't realized how much weight I had given to such a bad situation, how guilty I felt over things that I knew made no logical sense but still worried about other people's feelings.  It was stupid of me really.  It wasn't my fault that my life didn't revolve around these other people and I felt bad about it, but no longer.  I'm free and it feels wonderful.  

The point to this post is an affirmation to myself and about myself.  I started this plan to a "Better Me."  It started out with the turtling myself for almost the past year as I contemplated what I thought of myself, what others think of me and what I thought of them.  I came to the conclusion that others may not be happy with me but that's fine as I'm happy with the choices I've made so far.  It's time that I focused on myself.  I have projects that I want to finish so that's what I'm going to do as I continue to take care of mine.  It's time to branch out again, open myself up to new experiences and all that.  At the end of the day, as long as the most important people around me are happy, that's what matters.  

& yup, here's some angry chick music.  

this is the song that never ends . . .

It goes on and on, my friend . . .No, I'll stop there.  There's no use in torturing you with that song.

I'm suffering enough.  I do indeed have a song stuck in my head.  I usually do have a song, a movie, random unwritten scenes and such running my head on top of my usual thought processes but this singular song seems to have the ability to almost drown everything else in my head.

So that I don't suffer alone, here ya go . . .